Struggles

I never write  about this because I am a stubborn fool. That is the truth. I left because I couldn't focus. I also felt so alone. All throughout my life, I had wanted to be part of an organization where people genuinely loved you. I had that. But because I was stubborn, I threw it all away.

I became a recluse and skitter  away from all that I had known those two wonderful years. My best memories were generated from those years. I even went to dinner and people peppered me with love. It pains, it aches....I wish I could've changed. I wish I understood as much as I knew now. Life is too short to be so petty, too fragile to waste on emotion. But I persevere, dreaming of all that I had lost.

I finally got it back. Three long years of ardent love and affection, to reach that pinnacle again. I won't let it leave me anymore. I won't be as stubborn.  I am who I am because of my experiences. And I will never hold back again.

Friendship

I always do this. Those who I hold most dear to me becomes an idol in my game. There shouldn't be anything....but there is. My heart thumps when it shouldn't.

I was made so angry. I feel like this life I lead is a lie. I'm not ready for this. She is too good for me.

I need to stop hiding behind the wall and own up to my own mistakes. I should not have ridden this out his long. It isn't fair to anyone, me nor her.

My mind is not pure, tainted like a foul abyss. I need friends, people whom I should respect with so much honor.

veggass

EDC Las Vegas  was amazing!! Even if I got pickpocketed.... lol

Shit happens.