A
coworker told me a funny thing today. She told me that they miss the old “jolly”
Andy. This is a funny thing because I remember a period of time when I had no
worries, when the only important thing that would populate my mind everyday was
what we were having for dinner that night. And then a chain of events would
rock my world, changing my very perception and outlook on life. You see, life
is balance on a few generalizations that form your social web or pyramid as you
may call it. You have the aspect of life which are your friends, the aspect of
life which is your family, the aspect of life consisting of work, and the
aspect of your life concerning how you are doing with your personal relationships.
And
I was doing miserably on a majority of these points. I won’t bore you with the
details, but they seriously derailed my life. For the next six months in this
turbulence period, I learn some very important life lessons. Some of which I
will be explaining in greater details down the line. But let explore what
sparked this current intrigue of mine and look into an emotion of happiness.
Jolly.
It was a definitive word because I knew it was true. But deep down under that façade,
turmoil was already stirring and began to creep into my lifestyle. When
everything all exploded, I was devastated. Left with nothing left, I began to
try and pick up the pieces.
Music.
Music was my saviors that carry me through some troubling time and gave me
breath and freedom to do what I needed to do. Especially EDM. I have always
listen to music but this was different. From the soul raising vocals and beats
of Above & Beyond to the feet moving melodies of Kaskade, I was hooked.
Never before was I able to release all this pent up anguish and distress and
just live my life knowing that it was not the end of the world that things can
changed. Dance change my mindset in life. All these restrictions I place on
myself release and life started making sense. To be able to channel the energy
into dance and move my soul with the beat, it truly kept me happy. Truly made
me want to continue what I was doing.
To
dance is to express your soul. And music is the conductor of this venture. I
was out there doing things I imagine I would never do. Participating in events
that I never dreamt possible. I was living life and never before had I felt
this free.
What
I was before wasn’t a jolly person. I was a naïve fool hiding behind a façade just
hiding what I really felt and hoping my grief would not overcome my beliefs. But I learn to cope with my problem and live
for myself. What they see now isn’t some defective person or someone who has
lost himself. What they see is someone who is doing his best to live life whose
innocence was robbed from him. But from that, he will transpire to something
greater.
