Oh Snapples

Hmmm I just told what I been feeling for awhile to someone... I hope it doesn't come back to bite me.

Better yet, I just hope it all settle down so I don't have to think about it.

Hmmm

Damn I need shut up and clam up sometimes. Lesson learned

1%

I really shouldn't double down and go all in when all I'm holding is a 2 3 off suit.

But sometimes its worth going in when you feel that it may be the one.

Defiance

I feel like I always been a very considerate guy. I live my life to my own moral code, do things in my own distinct honor, follow a set of behavior that is not common among people today.

Today, I will change that. I value my privacy a lot and with that comes to people whom I believe to have confidence in with what to share information with them. There came a case where I felt that trust was betrayed. I understand the reasoning behind it. I understand why they did it fearing for me and disclosing to a close friend. But that still doesn't wipe away the process of confidentiality. I am what I say I am and I need to confront this or our friendship will never be the same.

Today I embark on a journey where I probably won't be the same. The world is still here. The ocean and skies are still as majestic. The mountain as stoic as ever. Myself? Forever changed.

That One Night

I keep thinking what I was feeling that night. The music, the sensation, the thoughts that swam through my head while I was intoxicated. I know what I did, knew how I did it, and felt it the whole night. It still leaves me a warm fuzzy feeling inside even though weeks has pass and the time has changed. I know this can't work but why do I hope for it to do so? Why can't the heart and the mind ever agree? Is it built into our DNA to never believe, to never open up and feel vulnerable. What is it with human know that things can never work, that the feeling isn't there, that they continue to strive for it hoping to get lucky.

I dunno what it is but the fight to live, the will to survive is still there...and I guess I'll be here until it all blows over.

Light at the end of the Tunnel?

I'm beginning to sleep better. Life is slowly returning but I know there still an aura of emptiness about me. I just need to figure out what I want to do about my love life. Only then, can I return with vigor and tackle the rest of the issues I am facing.

Life sucks. Never gonna be happy again. Bleh. Yadda Yadda ya. My life is seriously a rerun

Y Area

Tonight was one of those nights you try to not think about. Revelations in things that shouldn't happen. Changes in the unknown. Everything gets scattered. My mind is for a complete bend. I think I know what I want but I definitely shouldn't because in this case it would be bad. What do I say when all you think is about that time.. That night when everything seemed so much easier,  so much clearer. I can't imagine it be.. But it is. This is a rant, definitely. But not how I imagine it to be. I can hope, but I'm not too sure I would be happy even if I got what I wanted. Better to not tempt the gods.

Bloop

Bloop